Real Estate Jokes
Sometimes there is just not enough humor in the world of real estate. We have out together some of the best real estate jokes we have found to make you chuckle. If you know of a funny real estate joke, add it here, we insist! We hope enjoy our real estate jokes area.
| Shorties |
Realtor sign--We have "lots" to be thankful for.
Realtor: first you folks tell me what you can afford, then we'll have a good laugh and go on from there.
I listed a maintenance free house. In the last 25 years there hasn't been any maintenance.
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| Shoot the Realtor |
(Q) There is a Real Estate Investor, a Realtor and a Lawyer. And you have a gun with two bullets...
Which should you shoot?
(A) You should shoot the realtor twice... Just to be sure.
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| Doctor, Lawyer and Real Estate Agent |
A Doctor, a Lawyer and a Real Estate Agent were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.
The Lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."
The Doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health."
The Real Estate Agent says: "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife -- you can go and sell some homes.
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| Buy Me Out |
A very successful Real Estate Broker had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my Real Estate office. All you have to do is go to the office every day and learn the business."
The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate office. I can't stand Agents."
"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some the paperwork."
"I hate paperwork," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day."
"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you half-owner of my Real Estate office, but you don't like office and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"
"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."
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| Commission |
"I have to have a raise in my commission," the agent said to his manager. "There are three other companies after me."
"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."
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