Real Estate Jokes
Sometimes there is just not enough humor in the world of real estate. We have out together some of the best real estate jokes we have found to make you chuckle. If you know of a funny real estate joke, add it here, we insist! We hope enjoy our real estate jokes area.
| Shorties |
My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won't pay.
My buyer told me that he lived in the same house for 10 years. When I checked, I found out he'd still be there today if the Governor hadn't pardoned him.
The sellers told me their house was near the water. It was in the basement.
Sign next to FSBO-We shoot every third agent and the 2nd one just left.
My buyers want a new home on the outskirts---of their income, that is.
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| FSBO |
When a real-estate agency hadn't sold our house, we decided to do it ourselves. I placed ads in the local papers, spray painted a "For Sale" message on a sign board and posted it outside.
When my husband came home that evening, he told me, laughing, that my sign was the most truthful one he had ever seen. Confused, I rushed outside to take a look. In my haste I had printed - "For Sale by Ower."
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| Sold |
Best Deal in TOWN:
One Sunday afternoon a couple sees an ad in the paper. They can't believe their eyes. There is a house in the paper for $1000 that is in the nicest part of town. We are talking about a Highland Park mansion for $1000. They think this has to be a misprint, but decide to call anyway.
They say to lady who answers we saw your ad, and realize it is a misprint correct. She tells them no it's not & you are actually the first ones to call.
They decide to go look at the house. They race over as fast as they can. They pull up to the most beautiful house on the block. In front of the house is a fountain that cost at least $30,000. They ring the door bell & the lady answers. She starts showing them the house. They realize this house is over 5000 sq ft and it is obvious that expense was not a problem in building this house. The house had marble imported from Italy & a chandelier imported from France. The landscaping was breath taking & the house had a great pool & a nice tennis court.
The couple said to the lady this is the most beautiful house we have ever seen, what's the catch? The lady assured the couple there was no catch. The couple wanted the house for $1,000 but was leery of doing the deal. Finally the lady said you seem like a nice couple, so I'll let you know the truth.
She told them this house is completely paid for, and not a penny is owed against it. Well, last week I got a call from my Husband. He informed me he is leaving me for his secretary. He then told me I could have everything we own as long as he could have the proceeds off the sale of the house. I agreed and he asked me if I could sell the house while he & his new girlfriend hung out in the Caribbean?
HOUSE SOLD.
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| Rent |
AGENT: "How much are they asking for your rent now?"
BUYER: "Oh, about twice a day."
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| Homes For Sale |
When the last of their three children was about to leave home, my parents decided to buy a smaller house.
The Real Estate sign went up.
A week later, a second "For Sale" sign appeared two doors away.
"Soon you'll have new families on either side of you," my mother remarked to the neighbor whose house was in the middle. "We're thinking of putting up our own sign," she replied wistfully. "It would read: 'Was it something we said?' "
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